Hideaway
by Nanaki BH
Summary: [RenoxRufus] Reno receives word of their president's death.


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all related materials are the property of Squaresoft. The song "Hideaway" belongs to Fuel.

Hideaway  
By: Nanaki BH

_Troubled days cloud my eyes  
__Stole the sun from my skies  
__And in this darkness I am tossing, turning  
__Lying wide awake  
__Hold my breath; wish that I could find a place  
__To hideaway_

Reno was never one to drink early, but that morning he had found for himself an excuse. Rather, the excuse found him. It wasn't even six o'clock that morning when Rude, true to his name, came knocking at his door. Reno was reluctant to so much as lift his head from the pillow, but the worried tone in Rude's voice that followed prompted him to stand. It was uncharacteristic of him, and to be honest, it frightened him.

When he opened the door, Rude didn't speak. He simply turned and walked down the hall, willing Reno to follow behind. He was barely dressed to leave, but he grabbed a jacket anyway, knowing it must be something of a dire situation. He walked the halls behind him in silence, an uncomfortable uneasiness gripping at his chest.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

Rude hesitated with his answer. "A bar, I guess," he said.

"This early?" It was more to himself than to his companion, but he knew there was something else.

They kept walking; it was quite the distance, given their building's imposing stature. But it wasn't long before Reno realized where they were headed – the parking lot, though it still puzzled him why Rude wouldn't have taken the shorter route. Something was surely on his mind.

They reached Rude's car and he got in, but Reno was unwilling, almost frightened, to open the passenger door. His fingers lingered on the door handle as he weighed the situation in his mind. Either something bad had happened or something very bad was _going_ to happen. He got the feeling it wouldn't be a good news/ bad news situation either. In life, there was always something to joke about. Reno feared the moments when there would be nothing funny to laugh at and it seemed like one of those moments was fast approaching.

Life would not wait for him forever though. He mustered his strength and opened the door, then sat down beside Rude. "So what is it?" he asked. "I mean, if it's something bad, just warn me first."

"I have you sitting now, don't I?"

"What about the bar?" he said. "What's up with that?"

"Thought you would need a drink after I told you." It was like he was afraid to meet Reno's eyes. He kept his head down and his vision averted. "Reno," he said softly, "I don't mean to be the one to bring bad news, okay? Elena called me and told me."

Rude wasn't good with words. The worst was yet to come; he could feel it. Rude was just apologizing.

"Well, what is it?"

"She said it happened three hours ago. We must have slept right through it, Reno." His voice was quick and shaky. He inhaled deeply. "I'm so sorry, Reno. She said it's all over the news."

Reno swallowed, his eyebrows furrowed. The uneasy feeling in his chest wrapped its fingers around his heart. For a second, he could have sworn it stopped. "Rude… what happened?"

He started the engine. "Weapon killed Rufus."

Reno sat back in his seat, too stunned to say anything. He opened and closed his mouth in fruitless attempts to speak. The air suddenly felt too heavy to breathe. "Well what the hell'd it do, Rude?" he said, his mouth dry. "Did it just sidle up next to him and say 'hi' or somethin'?" He forced a laugh. He desperately wanted Rude to laugh, to do something – to tell him he was kidding him.

"Rude," he muttered as he began to pull out of the lot. "Rude, you ain't serious, right?"

"I told you I wanted you sitting for it, didn't I?"

Reno lowered his head dejectedly to stare at his hands. The car felt too small to him. He felt trapped; like he'd been captured at his most vulnerable. But he wasn't sure what he would have done if he weren't so cornered. Perhaps, he thought, he would have hit something. His sadness was never so much sadness as it was anger. He gritted his teeth. The only thing he had to fight were tears as they threatened the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry Reno… I really haven't heard much on the situation. Elena tells me their descriptions on what actually happened were vague – but what they _have_ said is that… well…" His eyes were perpetually trained on the road. _Why can't he look at me?_ Reno thought bitterly, biting his lower lips. _Why can't he look at me!_

Huffing, he turned his attention to his window. But when he looked out, he did not see the road, the houses, or the people. He did not see the window… but rather, saw his own reflection. There, in the window, he watched as a tear finally escaped its confines and ran defiantly down his cheek. He batted furiously at the red stripes on his cheeks, silently cursing his weakness.

"Why didn't you just leave me at my place?" he asked. "Why didn't you let me find out on my own?"

"Would you have rather found out alone?"

It was an interesting question he posed, but he didn't answer. If it weren't for Rude, had he turned on the TV to that news, he wasn't quite sure what he would have done. He might have jumped out his window, fifty-four floors up. Maybe he would have drank himself into a stupor and sat around mindlessly for days, maybe months, refusing to open his door to anyone. Something about the situation struck him as hopeless though anyway. If it were the truth, if Rude wasn't lying, then the purpose of every aspect of his life was gone; his job, his livelihood, his lover…

Rude parked the car outside a small bar still located within their immediate district. "Tseng won't be able to get us on this one," he explained. Sometimes their distance became a problem; not with the bar they'd stopped at. "I know the owner," he added, once they'd stepped out.

They entered the relatively silent bar and all eyes turned to regard them. Reno hurried himself to a stool and hid his face in his arms. Rude gave the room a once over and a disapproving shake of the head and everyone went back to their own business. It was silent, save the television set in the ceiling's left corner. Rude noticed that they'd even turned off their music in reverence for the news.

"_In fact, his condition is still being heavily debated. All signs point toward atragic death, but the Shinra Company has yet to release the information. We'll keep you updated as we get the information,_" the man on the TV said.

Reno sighed wearily and brought his head back up to rest his chin in his palms. "See, Rude… they don't know yet," he said hopefully.

He didn't say anything. He just took the seat next to him and ordered a drink. Reno, crestfallen, lowered his eyes. The images of devastation on the television weren't helping him; the demolished building, the broken glass… He interlocked his fingers, trying his hardest to keep his eyes anywhere but the screen. It proved a difficult task.

"Yo… you want a drink?" Rude asked, putting a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. Reno flinched away, scooting his stool over. "You're going to have to mourn sometime, Reno."

"But they don't know yet for sure."

Rude allowed him some more appropriate silence. Reno ground his teeth, glaring at him from out of the corners of his eyes. He wasn't going to say anything because he was trying to be _polite._ That fact alone infuriated Reno. "So you're saying I should pity myself?" He stood, slamming his hands down on the table. He could feel eyes burning holes in his back but he didn't care. If they were going to hear him make a fuss, then they would hear. "You're saying I should just sit around and cry for myself? _Why?_ Because I've lost my job; because I've lost the only purpose in my life?"

His breath caught in his throat. "Because I've lost the only person that ever really mattered…?"

It was about then that he realized he wasn't fighting Rude; he wasn't fighting tears. He was fighting his pride. He was fighting fate… which was an impossible battle to win. He sunk back into his seat, his arms dangling weakly at his sides. He pulled a cigarette languidly from his back pocket. The bartender, who'd been paying far too much attention to him, offered him a light. "Thanks," he muttered, exhaling a puff of smoke.

He looked back up at the television. That time he didn't hear them. He saw their faces and recognized them as the pathetic millions that thought they knew Rufus Shinra. "They never really knew him," he said, taking another drag on his cigarette. There was no need to hear what they were saying; he knew. He paled as the horror finally sunk in. And suddenly he felt nauseous, like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"_God, if I'd known!_" he cried, one fist gripping his pant leg, the other crushing his cigarette. His eyes slid closed and the tears finally fell.

Next to him, Rude took another sip of his beer. "The cruelest part of death is never knowing exactly when, Reno. I'm sure you've heard the phrase…"

"Live every day like it's the last? Yeah… I've heard it. But it's kind of hard to do for somebody else."

His friend exhaled an exasperated sigh.

He looked back to the TV as they displayed a fuzzy picture of his lover.Reno touched his cheek, now wet with tears, remembering the kiss Rufus left there before leaving that night. "It was like… he was saying goodbye."

Author's Note: This one was written for 30kisses on Livejournal as "2. new; letter". It was primarily written for the challenge on acfiction, also on Livejournal. Wish me luck with that! Tell me what you think!


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